it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
