I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
