I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
