i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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