This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Alive.
So much puke
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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