dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
