Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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