Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
