just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize