obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
