I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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