I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
