I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize