Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
