I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
