Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
