what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize