The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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