I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need a beard to bite.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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