you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
