she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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