You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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