Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
