There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
