I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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