Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
