Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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