ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
