If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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