Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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