Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
