also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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