I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
