If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
