Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
