im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
