the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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