their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
