It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
