just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
