We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
