She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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