i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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