Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
