I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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