Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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