I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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