Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize