So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize