Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
