There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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