I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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