how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
