do herpes really smell.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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