New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
