Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
