you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
