trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
