He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
