Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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