We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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