Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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