i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
