dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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