i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i barfeds in our rink
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
