Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
